Anonymous asked: How come no more sexy sex questions?? :((
Sorry! I’ve been pretty busy lately, but the blog IS STILL HERE - next week, each of our authors will be contributing their top 10 sex tips. Stay frosty!
-Indi
Anonymous asked: This isn't about sex, but I saw that one of you is on birth control, and I was wondering a few things. a) Is it difficult/embarrassing to get? b) What are the side effects? and c) How effective is it? Also I live in Singapore too, so yeah you can answer based on that.
Hello! This is she, I’ve been on Yaz for about 6 months now and we used condoms before that.
The most embarrassing/awkward part for me was telling my mum that I’d like to go on it but I’d been complaining about period pains ages before that so that backed me up. Most of my pain associated with periods has decreased by about 80% so it’s pretty awesome. Oh my skin has improved too!
You do need to see a doctor to start on the pill, after you’ve got a prescription you can get it over the counter at the pharmacy. I used to be really embarrassed with the whole gyno thing but once you realize they do that every day it seems less scary. I would reccomend going to a gyno to get it rather than a gp because it is more of a specialty and if you’ve already got one then he/she knows your body more than how a regular gp would and knows what is right for you. It was not difficult to get at all, I just asked my doctor and she basically said “Ok try this one” of course telling me about it etc.
I don’t think I have had any side effects thus far. I have gained weight but I’m pretty sure thats from just pigging out. Yaz also treats Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), “a condition in which a woman has severe depression symptoms, irritability, and tension before menstruation.” Before going on Yaz I used to have big panic attacks quite often which sometimes lead to self harm and a whole lotta hate. And I’ve only had one since starting it and even then it wasn’t that bad, so yaz has helped there.
Side effects are different with different types of pills. Some women try one brand and then change to another if the first isn’t working for them. I’m on the yaz website now and their list of side effects is: “headache/migraine, menstrual irregularities, nausea/vomiting, breast pain/tenderness, fatigue, irritability, decreased libido, weight gain, and mood changes.”
But as I said, for different women the side effects will be different and I have not had any side effects.
However you should not go on the pill if you are a smoker as that increases the risk of blood clots forming which can kill you, sadly.
It has been 100% effective for me, no babies thus far. There was a little hiccup earlier this month where i forgot to take the pill and we had sex, I didn’t realize until the day later when I went to take my new pill. I wen’t and spoke to a pharmacist (they are AMAZING at advice) and he told me there was a very small percentage (around 3%) of the pill failing in this instance.
If you forget to take a pill, take one as soon as you remember or take 2 the next day when you would regularly take it (say you forgot mondays, you would take monday’s and tuesday’s on tuesday). You should however use back up protection for a few days just to be safe.
Also, use back up protection if you have diarrhea or are vomiting as the pill may not have been digested.
Yaz doubles up not only does it prevent ovulation but it also “causes changes in the mucus of the cervix” Nice,I know. The mucussy part makes it difficult for sperm to attach basically.
I’m all for the pill becuase not only does it regulate periods and get rid of pms but after I started it sex was a lot nicer. I guess it just felt a lot more intimate as there was nothing (condom) between us.
That being said, I’m not saying condoms are bad and please always make sure you do use protection.
If you’re looking for a doctor, the Women’s Clinic at Raffles Hospital is great.
I hope this helped! Let me know if you’ve got any more questions.
- Lauren
Anonymous asked: sorry if this question is kind of downer. since its more about a lack of sex you can ignore it if its not right for the blog! im a person with a practically nonexistent sex drive and when it occasionally sparks up and i do act on those urges i feel beyond horrible/gross/disgusted with myself afterwards, since its so out of my comfort zone 99% of the time. should i keep acting on it on these rare occasions and pushing myself to feel "ok" or just accept that maybe i shouldnt have sex at all?
Hiya. Indi here!
The most important thing to ask yourself is whether or not you actually enjoy sex. To feel gross/horrible afterwards is normal for some people, and something you have to overcome. Society often teaches us to feel ashamed about our sexual acts, no matter how vanilla they are, and you need to be able to be comfortable and proud of the sex that you DO have.
That being said, do you have a regular partner? For some people, sex with random people is in fact, wholly unsatisfying and can leave one with the feelings you have, usually do to a lack of an emotional connection.
My best advice with you is if you do get horny, experiment. See if masturbation works just as well for you. Find someone you kind of like and see if doing it regularly makes you feel better. If not, and you don’t particularly find yourself enjoying sex, and decide to abstain from it, that’s up to you. But one has to fully explore the sexual spectrum sometimes in order to decide what’s right for them.
Never, ever be ashamed of the sex you have. It’s nothing to be ashamed about!
- Indi
Edit: Oh wow, I didn’t see that Jo already answered this. Oh well! You get two. :)
Anonymous asked: talk dirty to me
Not a question but if you like reading dirty talk check out literotica.com they’ve got heaps of different categories etc
- Lauren
Anonymous asked: i know this sounds weird but i'm a 19 year old ftm and i basically i know you have the male parts so you may not be able to relate so easily but. simple question: how does someone like me have sex with a girl? i don't want to be awkward and feel like i don't know anything. i'm just stumped. i would die to be able to lose my virginity the way a cisguy would but i can't. so how?
Chester- New admin here! Sex isn’t simply just penis in vagina. That’s not all there is to it. There doesn’t even have to be a penis involved in sex. There are lots of other things you can do. You can give her oral, and if you’re comfortable, she can give you oral, but make sure that she knows what terms you’re comfortable using (for instance, I’m fine with it being called “eating out” in my case, but some trans guys prefer to say “blow job” or usually I just go for the all inclusive term of “giving/getting head”).
You can also get a packer online. A lot of them are simply for show, but there are some out there that are specifically for trans guys wanting to have sex. Either that or you could use a strap on, or use other toys like vibrators and dildos. Experiment, see what you and your partner like best, and make sure to keep talking about it! Make sure she knows what you’re comfortable with, make sure you know what she’s comfortable with, and all that good stuff.
Speaking as a trans guy with a wonderful girlfriend, there are girls out there that don’t care about whether you have a vagina or a penis. So, just experiment and see what you’re comfortable with and what you enjoy and what you don’t enjoy and what you’re not so comfortable with. Hope this helps. :)
Introduction!
Hello, everyone! New face here. I’m Chester, I’m eighteen years old and I’m FtM (female to male), so if you have any trans* specific questions, I will answer them to the best of my knowledge, so ask away. :D
Anonymous asked: thanks for ignoring my question guys and i reposted it thinking you didn't get it first. now i feel like a complete idiot. thanks
We haven’t ignored your question. We’ve got a ftm friend who is answering it for us, because none of us are ftm and feel we have no right to comment on this matter, and that they are more than likely going to be able to answer it better than us.
We all also live in different timezones, so I’m sorry that we have been unable to answer your question so quickly, but we just want to make sure we answer it to the best of our ability.
- Indi
Anonymous asked: hello
This isn’t a question.
But a wonderful way to start a conversation with someone you want to sex!
- Indi
Anonymous asked: I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years and we've always been into trying new things but I'm worried that, because we've already done pretty much everything, he's going to get bored down the line... I'm starting to panic that our sex life is becoming boring because we don't do anything new any more. I've tried talking to him and he says that he enjoys it but I'm worried he won't feel the same in a few years time :c
The important thing, like I said, is to communicate how you feel to your boyfriend. Explore other avenues - Clearly you love each other, so maybe a break from each other is not the best answer here. Depending on how old you are, you may not be together in a few years, but focus on the now rather than worrying about what you’re going to think in 2 or 3 years. Focus on your sex life now, and tell him that you’re scared that your sex life is getting boring - I’m sure talking it out will help. Come back and tell us after you talk to him to see what we can do.
- Indi
Personally I find myself feeling a bit like that sometimes but then I stop, think about how madly in love I am and then plant kisses all over my boyfriend (much to his protest). One of the most important things about sex is your partner, as long as you remember that there will still be a spark there. I mean, sex is intimate, you could be out bonking some random or you could be with the one you love and thats what makes it special.
- Lauren
If your boyfriend says that he’s enjoying things as they are I would trust him on that (just let him know that if that changes he must let you know so you can discuss it together). I wouldn’t worry about years down the line at this stage, deal with each hurdle as you approach it. You might both decide that you’re extremely happy in your sex life without having to explore new things!
However, if you are getting bored there are always new things you can try! Even if you think you’ve done it all, there are always new interesting techniques and fantasies to explore. Try filling out a Human Sex Map each and then comparing the two. You might find that you both have a fantasy in common that you hadn’t previously considered. Good luck and have fun!
- Jo
Human Sex Map Link: http://www.humansexmap.com/
Anonymous asked: do you have any tips on pleasing women? i want to give my girlfriend a pleasant surprise just looking for a handy tip or trick that would uh please her
Hey, all of us are gonna field these. :)
Even though the main goal (so to speak) would be to please her sexually, emotional stimulation is also very important to get the mood right. You could be working on her all night but it wouldn’t get you very far if there isnt the emotional build up. Give her a back rub, tell her how beautiful she looks. And just remember it’s not a race, slow and steady buddy.
- Lauren
Honestly, to answer this question properly I need to know what you’ve already tried, as well as what your girlfriend likes. Good oral is always a neat surprise, as is something slow, but like I said, it’s subjective. Find out what kind of fantasies she likes, and make it a surprise one night to fufill them. That’s always a good surprise. Try to stimulate all her erogenous zones, rather than just the clitoris. Focus on her lips and inner thighs and butt too! But different people have different areas - try to find hers.
- Indi
Anonymous asked: I am horny a lot of the time and sometimes I just really wanna get it on but my boyfriend doesn't seem interested so I end up sexually frustrated. I mean, we USED to have a good sex life but it's sorta fizzled out and now every time I try to do ~sexytiems~ he doesn't respond. Now I'm worried that it's cause I'm not exactly the most attractive of people... How now? :/
Hey! Indi here! I’ll field this one.
A sex life fizzling out after having been in a relationship for a while tends to happen. Most fantasies are used in the early stages of the relationship, where you’re doing nothing but sexing and cuddling and stuff.
First and foremost, talk to him about it. Communication is important, and can spell doom for a relationship if you’re not communicating to him that you have needs that need filling. Tell him that hey, you want more sex, and he never seems to be in the mood for it. Find out why he’s not interested.
It’s not uncommon for two people in a relationship to have different sex drives either. Maybe he just doesn’t want to do it because he’s not as horny as you are - which makes communicating doubly important. It’s possible he could be quite stressed out at the moment, and he doesn’t really feel quite in the mood.
When I was in a relationship of 3 years, stress and work often got to me and my partner. The trick is to keep things spicy - try new things, kinky things, things you’ve never tried before, even things you’re afraid to try. Explore all avenues - you’ll be surprised what you might like. Roleplay, dressup, BDSM, pet play - there are plenty of things out there.
As for your attractiveness - he’s your boyfriend, and with you for a reason, but again this is a concern you must express to him. All people are beautiful, and everyone has different tastes. Being worried that you’re the problem is common, but honestly that’s probably just self doubt talking. I’m sure you’re beautiful.
I hope I was able to answer your question, and if you have any more feel free to drop by and ask for more specifics.
- Indi
We’ve received our first question! We’re currently discussing it between ourselves, but it’ll be up soon.
Hey there! I’m Indi. I’m 20 years old and am a cisgender pansexual male, living in Singapore but not actually from there.
I have had a lot of sex, and as you can see, I am very sexy.
Send us questions, ask us anything, we are here to help you!
Hello!
Just a little about me, this is Lauren, admin no. 2.
I am an 18 year old female and have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now and its going fab
write us questions xoxo :*